Clinical Depression In America. Trek across America [update]pp ?
Q.My high school had three types of chemistry class, each taking two semesters: Chemistry, Chem Study and Advanced Placement Chemistry. The kids in chemistry learned to make toothpaste and such. Somehow, I wound up in Chem Study, where the teacher, _Doctor_ Greenberg, used Schaum as one of the textbooks. I slogged through it with a C. At least they didn't put me in the AP class. (I now know that all my schooling was a difficult slog because of undiagnosed depression. Not that there was much they could have done about it at the time, even if correctly diagnosed.)
A.maybe I can blame my lackluster school performance on depression. By the time I got through junior high school I didn't care about anything. I briefly considered suicide. Teachers were perplexed why I refused to bring what they insisted were formidable talents to bear on the schoolwork. I wonder if depression can adversely affect an IQ test. Maybe I'm depressed now. The online psychological test says I'm perilously close. But I'm a helluva lot less depressed now than I was when I was a kid in school. I really never understood how anyone could possibly claim, "These are the best years of your life." (You mean it gets WORSE!) Sometimes people who are feeling sad or blue ask me if they could be depressed. I explain to them that clinical depression is a life threatening disease that, left untreated, can wreck your life and possibly end it. It is not just a matter of "feeling down" once in a while, nor is it something you can "snap yourself out of." It's caused by chemical imbalances in the brain's neurotransmitters and treated with drugs that attempt to restore the balance. Often, those drugs have unpleasant side effects. Believe me, depression is nothing to aspire to and you definitely don't want it in your permanent medical record if you can help it. It does bad things to your insurance rates. And definitely not if you're holding an FAA medical certificate. I suppose the AME wouldn't have issued it if I were exhibiting any symptoms. I've found when I'm feeling bad that one "cure" is to just go fly. I've also found that gathering with Mensans makes me feel better. I doubt that qualifies as clinical depression. This is a disease that troubles me anyway. I see so many very smart people who seem so tortured by it. Some of them very talented young people, some of them exhibiting self-destructive behavior. I can tell when they've gone off their treatment. They talk about injuring themselves just to feel--anything. It must be like an anesthesia. It's upsetting to even think about. Why should this disease seemingly be such a problem to so many extraordinary people? I worry just a little: there but for the grace go I. Considering the depths to which I was driven when I was a kid in school, does this indicate a latent propensity or just illustrate my own limits to stress? It manifests in various ways. Anhedonia is one symptom: The inability to feel happy under any circumstances. A general, massive inertia is another. As I explained it to a chemist friend, "Depression raises the energy of activation of all physical and most mental activity." These symptoms generate other symptoms in turn: Guilt, low self esteem, hopelessness, despair, suicide.
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