Clinical depression ?
Q.is a horrible disease. It destroys character, family, friendship, career, reputation, self-respect and makes the word "happiness" a meaningless term. It is a serious, life-sucking vacuum of a black hole. I don't have it (possibly because of lithium working right) but I know others who do, and I have caught glimpses of their inner life and where their actions lead.
A.This was a very excellent post -- and I would add to it that the same thing goes for bipolar disorder, also known to some (who refuse to educate themeselves) as manic depression. When you are afraid to go to bed because you do not know what the next day will bring ... that is bipolar disorder (I am using my example of being an extremely, ultra-rapid cycler). When you wake up and you feel somewhat ... neutral? ... and take a shower ... and then, in the shower you cycle and feel like you want to kill yourself because you know nothing has changed and the outlook is just as bleak today as it was yesterday (and last week, and last year...) ..... and then you are singing at the top of your lungs by the time you are drying off. Living with depression and bipolar disorder is a challenge to be sure ... and we often say things out of pain that is not meant -- that we would like to take back if we could. But it cannot be done so easily. I am glad that you can see that Eric was writing things out of the pain of his depression, and I hope you decide not to leave this group. I can only coment on my depression which is sevear clinical depression,,,Talking about A life sucking life ruining, life being taken away vacuum of the worst black hold to ever be in,,I to have gone through many types of meds , but I think what kept me going was hope , Hope kept me alive when I did not want to be ,In my darkest hours there was for me hope of what I was and what I knew I had to do ,,You see I was rearing A Daughter as A single dad and knowing that we only had each other as she could never go back to her mother , I just knew day by day that to hope was to survived,sometimes hour by hour ,,I poured myself into my work which I love and each day I hoped for better times ,,My daughter graduated at 17 yrs. old with A 4.5 and she is in her second year at A find University, As I saw her off on Thur. I begin to feel hopeless again but by the time Iwas trying to crawl back into that black hold my daughter called me from the plane and told medaddy just because I am on my way back to school does not mean I don"t need you to keep hope alive.
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