chronic severe depression ?
Q.i am being swallowed up by all of my "story lines" and am finding it so hard to be filled with a compassionate heart for self or others... ive been clean and sober a long time, still attend meetings, but i must be hitting stage 2 recovery or something... drinking or getting high is not a solution... but damned these suicidal anxiety ridden days.... anyone else feeling the wild ride as we come into the new century, finishing the old????
A.Please be vigilant with your emotions. I am guessing that you are perhaps between 8 to 10 years sober and it is not uncommon to have a bout of clinical or near clinical depression around that time. Keep in touch with friends and LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING. I say this out of concern for you, your friends and loved ones. A dear friend of mine had a severe bout of clinical depression at 9 years..... and did not survive it. I've been dealing with chronic depression for about 12 years now. I'm sober today and still taking psychiatric medication for the depression. All I can say is that I'm prepared to continue to take for the rest of my life if necessary. The Big Book says to make use of doctors and psychiatrists and I do. Maybe a visit with a psychiatrist would be of benefit to you. It certainly was for me. I didn't know that bouts of clinical depression are a part of AA recovery between 8 and 10 years. I better go back in time and get sick so I can be sober today. Sorry about being so sarcastic, I just hate generalizations based on one individual experience. You should be recommending a shrink or something. I don't understand how alcohol you had up to 10 years ago can still be affecting your state of mind? How do you know that it's being an alcoholic (albeit a recovering one) that's making you feel depressed? You don't say how long you've been feeling like this but you do mention the new century. Many, many people feel depressed at this time of year, if you listen to the news it almost a requirement of Christmas and New Year. Look at other factors in your life besides the lack of alcohol, maybe the answer lies there. Just repeat what you have already said to us "because at least i could tell myself, hey! you are sober!", try to remember the feeling when you first stopped drinking and how good it made you feel. Take care of yourself, try not to feel overwhelmed. When you're Doctor's Surgery re-opens I would go and talk about it, see if you need some medication to help you for a while. This time of year is always big depression time for me. And it's only in the past few years I have recognized that I have been depressed for a good portion of my life. Since I got into AA I have found many, many alcoholics suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. As you know, sobriety does not solve everything. I think the millennium hype may have something to do with this year being so anxiety provoking. If I listen to too much of that I go crazy. I will be happy when it's all over. Sounds like you are in a spot with lots of potential for growth better recovery. For myself, I need to get very down before I can begin to see clearly again. One day at a time helps although it sounds trite. Are you helping others and getting outside of yourself. I can see many reasons for severe depression and yours may or may not be something I've mentioned. I eventually found it necessary to start on medication and I am now trying a lightbox as I've heard that has helped many. My prayers are with you and please do not isolate yourself. You are so right. One year, two years, now 8-10 years. What is this goofy crap? Who knows this? Any experience other than one incident? Have you done any research formal or informal? Have any credentials? A few visits to a good psychologist with heavy experience in 12 step work might prove profitable. They might recommend a light dose of anti-depressants if it is clinical depression. Being vigilant with emotions has nothing whatever to do with chemical, clinical depression which is a primary disease of its own, not a result of alcoholism. guessing they have 8-10 years? Geez. this is insanity. You guess at a person's time in the program, make a diagnosis on this one "guessed" information and then...
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