Bi-Polar or depression disorder?
Q.Some of the things were like a `feeling of invulnerabillity' `Fleeting audiotory or visual halucinations' `inattention to proper eating habits'. None of these I felt or did, So I was thinking how do I know if I'm Bi-Polar or just have a depression disorder?
A.You didn't mention your name (or nickname) or your age, but just from what you did say it sounds as if you might be in your teens and living at home with your parents. Are you in school? Only a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist would be competent to diagnose you....so I'm afraid we cannot be of much help in that department. It seems clear that you are in pain and feeling confused, and that is important no matter what name is given to it. As for bipolar disorder, there are many different ways that it can be manifested in each individual, so textbook descriptions are not adequate for any one unique person such as yourself. Of course what you need to do is first see a good psychiatrist to have a diagnosis. When I was reading the beginning of your post I totally identified ~ But that doesn't mean a whole lot. Many Bi-Polar people also have the supreme misfortune of being initially mis-diagnosed as "depressed" only and given Prozac or another anti-depressant. The danger comes in when the mania is set off by the anti-depressant ~ at first you feel invincible and then you slowly destroy your sanity by all kinds of irrational intensity. What I'm getting at is ~ Seek a professional opinion ~ Once you get one make sure you do whatever you can to monitor yourself and your behavior so you feel secure that the diagnosis and treatment are working for you. I won't lie and say that I didn't feel "ashamed" or "weird" when I was diagnosed ~ But it was a big relief to find that what was wrong with me was a chemical thing ~ Something I couldn't help any more than if I had had any other chronic illness. And the feeling of overwhelming guilt and responsibility for the life I just could not "get together" suddenly had medical reasoning behind it ~ Once diagnosed ~ If You do in fact have an illness of some sort ~ You will be empowered with support, knowledge, and even hope. im 20 not in school, theres another side of this story only few know of. Ever since I graduated high school in january of this year, I have (not proud) living in a sort of seclusion away from everyone except my family and only talk to people online. It wasn't as if i didnt have a choice i did, and my fear of not knowing a direction of my life sent me backing into a corner. Seeing all my high school chums going to college, getting jobs, etc. I was left without a direction, without any real expectations.Living inside the shell of hurt, regret and a want for change, I have times where I feel as though I will change my life, but it always seems to not matter because the steps never go about solving it, cause i (not proud) look most times for the quick fix.Then I think thats not right, cause i should be working towards a goal instead of wish-to-recieve. Ever since I was 19 i have been fighting the right decision of things over the mistake the teaches the lesson. Trying to not make mistakes to make decisions tailored to what everyone thinks I should be making. Instead of just making the mistake and not caring, but glad you learned from it. I was always the "mature one" that had the right answers, the right solutions and only the mistakes or bad times that happened were because of something i did. That all the really bad things that happened to me were my fault in making them happen. So then i guess over what i should do trying not to step on anyone's toes in the process, trying not to slip and fall, cause i fear that depression would keep me down lower than when i wasnt trying. And yes my parents are cynical on seeking help because they think its no big deal that if i go back to school that everything will be solved...well they might be right and they might not be....
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