Depression in Teenagers ?
Q.Has anyone else been through similar experiences or have any helpful suggestions??? How can I help her??? Should I just continue on with my life as though nothing is wrong (a feat in itself!) or should I continue to make myself available even though 90% of the time my presence/conversation is not wanted???
A.Just wondering if anyone out there has any advice on dealing with depressed teenagers. I am a single mother and have shared a close relationship with my daughter over the last several years. She is fourteen years old and for the past 14 months had been dating a boy 17 years old. I liked him quite a bit and was happy that they seemed to have a relationship based on trust and being open with their feelings. The three of us had a nice Christmas together and then he left to go to school in another province. Since then they have run up huge phone bills on my phone and also his mothers'. We dealt with that problem and they were limiting their calls to once a week and during the more inexpensive times. But the last few phone calls he has made to my daughter have resulted in her crying and begging on the phone (I can't help but hear since we live in a small apartment). She has stopped talking to me about her relationship with him and does not want to talk about it to me at all. But I know that he broke up with her and think he has found someone else that he wants to date. My daughter is heartbroken. I am really worried about her - I had been trying to tell her all along that you should never let your happiness totally depend on one other person and that she should have other friends. But that fell on deaf ears and now she is left with no one (but a sympathetic mother). She stays in her room crying, will not eat and says that she wishes she were dead (I would like to think that this is just talk, but unfortunately she did make a suicide attempt two years ago so I can't just dismiss it!). For a while I was getting depressed right along with her and when I caught myself lying on my bed in a fetal position on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I thought `this is enough' and put my coat on and went out for a walk. I am constantly trying to draw her into some activity (let's make a jigsaw puzzle, do you want to play a game?, let's go for a walk, do you want to see a movie?, etc. etc.) but she says she doesn't want to do anything, she's just waiting to die and that I should just leave her alone. I have reached the point where I don't invite any friends over because then my daughter locks herself in her room - I keep thinking that I want to be there for her if and when she wants/needs me. I can't enjoy company knowing that she is miserable in her room. But on the other hand, I'm getting depressed myself with the situation. She has absolutely no one else to talk to but me! She has recently told her counsellor that she doesn't want to continue going there too. I can't bring myself to go out either because I live in fear that she will actually harm herself. When my daughter said to me that no one understands I told her that I do understand and that almost everyone has been through having their heart broken - just listen to the radio and you notice that almost every song is about broken hearts, etc. It was then that I realized that her broken heart has hurt me more than any of my own heartbreaks in life.
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