Wife wants divorce, due to post pardum depression
Q.Last week my wife came out and told me that she hasn't loved me or been happy since my daughter was born. She was diagnosed with post partum depression last year and only took the prescription for a week. She feels like she needs to be alone. I fear for my one year old daughter, I will be moving in with my parents 4 hours away and she will be put in day care, and then come home to her. She has a history of depression and abusive behavior (towards me). I truly believe this divorce will benefit myself and her because she'll get what she wants, but I don't think it's fair that my daughter will have to deal with her mood swings. I will have a steady job but I will barely get by because I'm a full time student also. Does anyone know how much child support is these days? Anyone else relate to this story?
A.If your wife is that much of a whacko and a threat to your child, fight for custody. I'm stick of all these men in the world so willing to allow the mothers to have the children. It's total bullshit. Men can be just as effective parents. If the two of you can't stay together, then the child needs to be with the one who is most stable. Sure, but fighting an all-out war for custody never did anyone any good, unless one parent is a definitive threat to the child's welfare. IMO, this is a borderline case, and will be viewed as such, unless the OP can show his wife has recklessly endangered the child, or has a history of mental health problems PLUS is not taking her medicine. All we have is one episode of post-partum depression (which is quite common) and a wife who wants a divorce and is depressed. It is very common for people going through a divorce to be depressed. The judge is going to look at the case, and figure that the mood swings may clear up once she's divorced and out of the relationship, which could be causing her unhappiness and depression. IMO, it's a much better strategy for the OP to bend over backwards to find a way to live closer than 4 hours a way, and share custody for now. Then he can take a wait-and-see approach, and watch the situation carefully for signs that her depression is not improving. If that becomes the case, then he is morally obligated to step in and take over custody, and more power to him. But starting a custody battle now is only going to make a bad situation worse. Why not focus on getting his WIFE help? Does a husband have to ability to "commit" his wife? I don't know....I'm asking. Has HE spoken to her OB/GYN? That is who prescribed me an antidepressant for post partum depression and I was MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE to the idea coming from my doctor I trusted rather than a shrink. Has there been any outside mediation? Is divorce the ONLY option here? After post-partum depression runs its course she may be back to the same loving wife she was. Was she always abusive or is she normally someone he chose to marry? Let me get this straight. You are going to move four hours away from your daughter and will be studying full-time and working - part time, presumably. You will be driving up to 8 hours over the weekends unless your wife shares this with you to have your daughter stay with you and somewhere in your busy schedule and when she isn't sleeping you'll spend some time with her. In the mean time, your daughter, who is under 2 years of age, will go into fulltime daycare while her mother (the one with the history of depression and abuse) pursues her military career and her father throws himself into fulltime study half a day away.
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