Could it be Postpardum depression? Worried.
Q.My wife and I had a wonderful life. We dated for 7 years, and now have been married for 5. Best friends, could talk about anything, and a decent sex life (I always joke it could be better, but shes Catholic... no disrespect meant..
A.Now it's summer (wife is a schoolteacher) and I'm catching up on work missed and getting quite busy. So she's doing 80% of the care now while I work (still at home). Recenetly I've seen a change. Sex has dropped to nothing. Maybe once a month or two. The closer we get to school starting again, the worse it has gotten. Also, she seems to want to buy more toys and things, and the closer to school starting, the worse it gets. It started with a pool (our DD was only 7 mos). That I said ok... since it was a little one we could use on the deck or driveway and easily store. A couple weeks ago it was "let's get a sandbox for the basement for this winter.. she had fun in the sand the other day". I said no... no sandbox in the house. Then today it was "I am going to buy a swingset for DD. Can I borrow the pickup?" DD just turned 10 mos and she showed me this elabority swingset with swings, slides, rockcrawling walls, etc. Money isn't the issue here, but I had to put my foot down and say no. I'm afraid next week it will be a Porche! We always say "we'll never have as many toys for our kids as so-in-so" but it's easily getting there. The more I say "no more toys" the more she finds at garage sales, and toys I don't even think are appropriate for her age (mainly because our friends with 1-2year olds love the toys and DD is happy with a metal pot and a wooden spoon). Of the people I've known who've had severe postnatal depression (causing hospitalisation), though there has been signs early on, the worst point has been after the 6 month mark, so in a mild case it could be possible that symptoms were easily hidden early one and now things are getting worse things are more visible. This case does sound a bit wierd, I'd not jump to the conclusion of PPD straight away, but something doesn't sound right, I know shopping unnecessarily is a symptom of some mental illnesses, but doesn't quite fit in with PPD. I really think you have to talk to her, there is nothing you can do without that. It does sound as if there may be bonding issues with the baby, but that is not necessarily PPD, the buying of toys could be a subconcious way of trying to make up for that. I wonder if you could suggest some kind of activity for her to do with your DD, that fits her work schedule, like taking her swimming, to give her time when all she has to do is be with her.
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