Male Sexual Abuse

Abuse
Most males sexually experiment in a variety of ways during childhood. While some of this may be normal and nothing to be concerned about, the tendency to view all sexual experiences, except the blatantly obvious ones, as harmless is the result of social learning that prevents men from recognizing what hurts them. Boys will be boys leads to men will be men and perpetuates the belief that these are normal behaviors without harmful consequences.
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At the Rape & Sexual Abuse Center, we define sexual assault broadly. It can be anything from a male being forcibly penetrated to a boy being dressed as a girl by a babysitter and made fun of. Each individual’s own experience is unique, as are the effects of that experience.

Facts
While males are abused in many of the same ways as females, males are less likely to identify their experience as abuse or acknowledge it as harmful to them. Yet, studies indicate that men are at least as emotionally traumatized as women, and they experience many of the same effects. Prior to age sixteen, about one in eight boys are sexually abused. However, the same studies that give us these facts also indicate a high incidence of under reporting, so it is difficult to really know how many male victims there are. Most males are sexually abused by other males, but the number of males reporting abuse by women is increasing. Females abuse males in slightly different ways than males abusers. Female perpetrators may be more subtle and disguise the abuse through caretaking behavior. Examples can be inappropriately applying medication to the genitals, giving unnecessary enemas, and intentional self- exposing.

Sexually abused males are often viewed as potential abusers. While perpetrators of male sexual abuse have often been abused themselves, many more sexually abused males do not become perpetrators. Another common belief is that perpetrators of male sexual abuse are gay men preying on young attractive boys. The fact is the vast majority of perpetrators define themselves as heterosexual and are motivated more by the availability of the victim rather than gender.
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Effects of Sexual Abuse on Men’s Relationships
Often, there is difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships. Most problems can be traced to difficulty trusting and being vulnerable.

Compulsive Behaviors
Most compulsive behaviors serve the purpose of alleviating anxiety and avoiding pain. There are many different compulsive behaviors that can accomplish this. Most frequently seen are the use of sex, chemicals, alcohol, work, gambling, exercise, and food.

Sexuality
Some confusion regarding sexual orientation is common and this may be true even if the victim acknowledges a gay lifestyle. Some men have great difficulty being seen nude, or urinating in public restrooms. There is often uncertainty about identifying with the masculine gender which can cause considerable isolation from other males. Frequently there are sexual problems.
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Physical Symptoms
There may be areas of the body that are extremely sensitive to touch; a general body tightness or tension, frequent headaches, hypertension and sleeplessness. Sometimes there is a feeling of being disconnected from one’s body like one’s body belongs to someone else.

Feelings & Thoughts
There are many feelings and thoughts associated with sexual assault. Depression, rage, anxiety, hopelessness, shame, guilt, thoughts of suicide, difficulty concentrating, memory problems, recurring sexual dreams, thoughts and fantasies, and recurring images of genitals are only a few of the more common.

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